An elderly Scottish Jew has decided to take it a little easier and take up golf so he puts his name down at the local Club. After a week he receives a...message that his application has been turned down, so off he goes down to the Club to ask the reason why!Secretary: You are aware that this is a Scottish Golf Club?Scot: Aye, and I am as Scottish as ye are Jock.Secretary: This means that on formal occasions we wear kilts.Scot: Aye, so do I.Secretary: You are aware that we wear nothing under our. " All right. Let me consult Merlin."****So the king went to the magician, and outlined his dilemma, and thensaid, "So, what can I do?" I do have an alternative, if the woman is willing, your majesty." Well, what is it?" I had recently finished making a very special suit of armor, the wearerwould be nearly invulnerable to all known weapons." So why not give it to me?" Because there is ... a problem. The wearer could never take it off. Theywould never sleep, never eat, and never show their face. Would I get off a kiss him, shake hands or hug? I was a veritable bag of apprehension and nerves!That other man had waited for me but my nerves had won out and we never met. He blocked me after I tried to apologise, saying I was a fucking tease! I was just nervous…He forgot to mention the quarter mile walk to the woods entrance and I was puffing from nervous exertion when he smiled at me. “Bwan cracker booty puffing cos ‘is masser nigga is a waiting to ‘ave an fuck her?” he did a jig and I. By the way, your parentshave been informed of your fate."Thirty-one others. A one in thirty-one chance of life-there is no way aweakling like me can win this. Even if I get a gun, I'm not going to win,and they'll send me back to my parents in a coffin. My life is over.When she had finished and we were all staring at each other in horror helooked at me, smiled and said, "For you, a different fate awaits, if youchoose to accept it. A fate that will allow you to stay alive."I nodded and there were.
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